May 25, 2011

Less than an hour after my brother passed away, the family still held close around him full of tears.  I saw my sister-in-law trying to console her son and daughter.  But there were two of them, and now only one parent.  There simply was not enough of her to wrap them both close.  Now I am horrible at hugs.  Ask anyone that knows me, especially my Canadian cousins.  But even I knew that it was time to step up to the plate.  And in my mind, I thought of all the times I saw my niece cuddled up in my brother's arms.  During our annual trip to the beach, one would often find her asleep in her daddy's lap.  So I whisked her up and set her down in my lap with my arms around her.  It felt awkward and miserable and my heart broke even more, if that is even possible.  Like I said, I'm horrible at hugs.  But I held her tight.

Just the other day, I was scrolling through old pictures and came across this one that my mom took.  My first thought was, 'does he have cancer here?'  Yes, of course he does.  He has the bald head.  The date is my birthday of last year.  How's that for twisted irony.  He would have already started chemotherapy by now.  Judging by how good he looks, this is during our hopeful phase.


Aldena Gerber said...
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myrrha said...

.... you did the right thing.
You held her.
And there is no horribleness in a hug from that place of deep protective grief.
(from a friend of one of your Canadian cousins).