April 28, 2016


I walk into the call room, enjoying the mild muffling of the constant noise that a hospital brings. It's not a complete silence but it's close enough. I open the door to the bathroom and I am greeted by this scene.

I'm not even sure where to begin with this. I've been to the ER multiple times and hospitalized once forcing me to miss an entire rotation necessitating the need to repeat it. One ER doc suggested frequent irrigation of the now mostly healed wound. This is a hospital. Cleanliness ought not be a goal on par to the task of the Mars Rover. But when a toilet occupies the shower, words escape me. Specifically, a flow of four letter words escape my mouth. What maintenance person does this?

I move the toilet only to find the handle does not work. It slides on and off as easily as a toilet fits in the shower. But it fails to turn the water on or off. I pull a pair of rusty old pliers out of my backpack (don't ask) and use that to turn the shower on and off. 

I finish my shower hopefully thereby avoiding another ER visit but not without wondering about trying to keep one's sanity in a hospital such as this. 

March 20, 2016


I'm on my surgery rotation this month. I have a whole new appreciation for why surgeons are the way they are. Each pager represents about 10-15 patients. 

February 25, 2016


I've not been at my best of late. Which is to say, that when I say I have been struggling it is akin to saying that in June when the cicadas start their humming, it is a touch hot and humid. Two ER visits in three months for the same condition for which landed me in the hospital in November are certainly of no help to the matter either. The demands of residency are not little and having one's body refuse to cooperate compounds the struggle to put one foot in front of the other. But to rationally list my woes as if it were a To Do List, seems to reduce them to banality, nothing more than a math problem rather than a human experience. I decided I posted enough less than flattering pictures of others when they are less than optimal so turn about is fair play as this picture my mom snapped clearly demonstrates, I am not well. 

February 24, 2016


How can this structure cause so much stress and pain in me? I pondered this while waiting to be seen by my interventional pain specialist. I get my first real chance at some pain relief by burning off some nerve endings in the left side of my spine on March 31st. After that, I start going through the process of getting the right side done. One would never think that "sticking a scope into my spine and burning nerves off" would sound so very appealing. But I look forward to like a kid on December 1st.