June 1, 2011

rule of grief #4

#4 - Know when to be alone and when you need someone to lean on.  In all actuality, this is exceptionally difficult to master, at least for me.  As a back-up, have someone who knows how to tell the difference in you.

     This isn't a rule so much as a really good idea to have in place.  The other morning I woke up and my wife was still home.  "Why aren't you at work?" I asked groggily, a bit upset to have my morning solitude impinged upon.
     "You seemed like you needed me to stay home."
     "And what are you basing that upon?  I told you, I'm ok."
     "You were sleeping angrily."
     "Huh?  Sleeping angrily?" I had to laugh at that one.
     My wife based my mental status on the emotions of when I was sleeping.  Sure, why not?  She couldn't articulate it and she stood by her assessment.  I'm not sure I understand it but I've learned to trust her.  Judging information of the world around her by intituition and emotional radar, my wife balances out my cold rationality.  We ended up talking the entire morning until the early afternoon before she accompanied me down to MDACC to visit my dad when he was in the hospital (he's doing well by the way).  It turns out she couldn't have been more right.  I did need her to talk to.


Anne Gifford said...

I do apprecite your blog on Josh. He will be missed. You wrote aobut the ordeal elegantly and shared with all of us what your family was going through.
Thank you.
the Service for Josh was very emotional, bugt a great celebration of his life and his love for his friends nad family.

Isaac said...

It was a beautifully moving service indeed.