October 27, 2009
A foul mood has set in upon me of late and much of it centers around frustration with this grand journey of becoming a doctor. I'm probably being a bit impatient with both it and myself. I knew this would take time. I know that I'll be better off for going through it. One way I knew that it was time for some introspection was that I started dreaming again. Normally, either I don't dream or I don't remember them. I'm not sure which it is since the end result in the morning is the same. I used to be skeptical of dream interpretation, and still am to a big extent....except the times that I've tried it. Have you ever written down your dreams and honestly asked not what they meant, but what they felt? That's after all their way of communicating. My dreams are so bizarrely nonlinear as to be quite absurd so understanding in the logical sense is pointless. But I finally started writing them down (I had done it once before in my life) and I focused not on how ridiculous they were but what I felt in the images. It's made me a believer that it's pretty good tool to get in touch with your soul. It helped me realize what exactly was bothering me. There's a lot of fluff out there with respect to dreams. The best source of information for me was the psychiatrist Carl Jung. A fascinating man with fascinating ideas. There's a museum down in Houston near the med center that I visited once a few years back. It's called The Jung Center. So I took a step back and looked at the bigger picture. And that's one of the problems. I'm a big picture kinda guy. As such, I hate getting bogged down in the details when I can see the end result. I'd rather just up and head to the end result via a shortcut. Ain't gonna happen in this instance. So I have to just let it go and keep my kinetic energy going. I will keep trying ways to get this interesting and fun, like trying the low carb thing to make biochem, er, fun. And on a good note, I'm up to an 85 and an 86 on today's two biochem practice exams. The last one would've been higher had I not circled the wrong answer despite clearly knowing the correct answer. Time for a beer or three at that point. 93 on histo so I'm done with that one. I need to focus on studying for the practical on that one.