December 6, 2013
The difference in his mood, his personality, everything was in stark contrast to what it was before. It became apparent only 2-3 days after his second hospitalization and became more and more noticeable with each passing day. His constant anger began to lessen. His emotional resilience, which was completely absent before, grew stronger with each passing day. His constant tendency to fly off the handle at the smallest thing grew strangely absent. His ability to feel and receive love returned. And he had reversed his decision in answer to Hamlet's dilemma. He no longer wished to sleep that endless sleep. As my wife said, it was like getting the personality of our son back before the many years of worsening darkness.
The difference? Medications. Or I should say the combination of meds as it is likely that he would not being doing as well if one of them were absent or substituted. Stumbling onto the right permutation of meds for psychiatric illnesses is one of persistence, luck, persistence, the art of medicine, and even more persistence. I am grateful for him finally finding the right combo to keep him alive, at least for now. Experience tells me that this is not the end, though. This is no cure, only a respite of unknown length. It will be a constant battle for the rest of his life, let alone ours.