Ever see the movie Groundhog Day? It's kinda stupid but the main character is forced to live the same day over and over again. I feel a bit like that today. See, I've already gone through this first day of medical school. I've heard these first day lectures, I've felt that 'oh shit' nervousness, been there, done that. It's a big case of deja vu. Last year, after that first day I then had a existential crisis of sorts, nearly dropped out, and decided to break the first year up into two years. It adds a year to my training and more debt but I don't regret it for a second. As I look back, I become more and more grateful for that option. It allowed me to work some stuff out, it gave me the luxury of experimenting with different learning methods (a LOT of med school is almost self taught), and it gave me the freedom to spend a lot of time with my family, especially my brother during his diagnosis.
I look back at the blog posts during that time and all that I can say is that I'm in a very, very different place. In short, I was a basket case last year. I could hardly eat for a week. Now? I'm hardly nervous at all and to be honest, I'm almost, just barely, kinda sorta in a strange way starting to look forward to it all. That's a big change from this time last year when I was ready to chuck it all and run. While supposedly, the first year was divided in half, it seems like this semester will be a bit fuller. I have Developmental Anatomy (boring but I've come to terms with having to plug and chug information), Gross Anatomy (the bulk of the semester's work from everyone I've talked to), Intro to Clinical Medicine (this one sounds cool as we begin to learn how to give a physical on paid actors) and Clinical Applications (integrates all the information in the classes in a sort of case study approach so I'll be forced to relearn the stuff from biochem and histology last year). With the exception of developmental, I'm looking forward to everything else. In honor of last year's experience, I'm fasting until this evening (a bit like Ramadan type of fasts) so as to give my body a gentle reminder of where I was, where I've gone, and where I'm at now. It feels good.