August 7, 2015

vampire test

     I have been accused, justly I might add, of having a bit of an Eeyore personality.  My wife is my opposite and so at times will needle me initially to try to get me to smile, but failing that, then just to get any reaction out of me.  So it was the other day when I was stressed about not knowing whether I had cancer or not, my back pain was flaring up, and I had some work issues causing some stress.  So she poked, prodded and finally gave me a love bite, really more of a hickey than a bite, on my forearm which I admit did cause me to crack a smile at the absurdity of her action until I saw my forearm.  We both looked down.  On top of my skin resided a thin film of what medically would be called serosanginous fluid but in reality is blood with a bit of other fluid.
     Now, she didn't actually bite me.  She didn't bruise me.  But the capillaries in my skin are so congested with the excess red blood cells that they are easily ruptured.  Really easily, apparently.  I asked my wife if she tasted the salt of blood, to which she answered yes.  She then of course found it to be the funniest thing in the world at that moment that I'm oozing blood while I'm just thinking to myself, "This. Isn't. Normal."
     So the day before my next scheduled blood draw I'm curious what my red count is running so I just hand my forearm to my wife.  Yup, still elevated.  The results the next day confirm it.  Time to lower the dose of my medication again.

Disclaimer: The vampire test should only be performed under the supervision of a trained physician.


Cary Reams said...

Like a bad episode of 'House'.

Isaac van Sligtenhorst, MD said...

Much like House, it ain't normal.