October 3, 2013

2br02b

I've had three posts titled using similar letters - 2s and Bs.  I'm not trying to bore readers or prove I'm losing it (well, that may be debatable).  They all relate in an emotional progression, I can assure you.  It might help if the numbers and letters where actually translated into some meaningful English.

The first one BU2B = Brought up to believe.
The second one BU2B2 = Brought up to believe part 2
The last one 2BR02B = To Be, or naught To Be

The first two are song lyrics by Neil Peart.  Being a voracious reader, I knew his song title was used not as text-ese but must instead relate to a piece of good literature.  I finally figured it out that it tied back to an old short story 2BR02B by one of my favorite authors, Kurt Vonnegut.  His title obviously ties further back to Hamlet's famous dilemma of which I wrote earlier.

From Hamlet to these three more modern writings, they all relate to a progression of my worldview as well as my inner view. 

The first song BU2B, relates very much to the attitude we were raised with from my dad.  My brother and I both even talked about as he neared death.  My dad has (or had, maybe it's changed) an unshakeable belief that things will always work out for the best.  To my brother and I growing up, we both envied his belief as well as thought it bordering on irrational.  But in the mind of my father it was unshakeable.  It was one of his major guiding principles in life.  As my brother got closer and closer to death, that notion began to unravel for both myself and my brother.  Things were not working out for the best, or at least in the sense that we desired.  One of the core beliefs that was modeled to us from an early age was shaken to its core and blew away in the wind from our perspective.

The second song BU2B2, was one of my mantras as I grieved my brother's loss yet discovered deeper ways of being compassionate with patients as they struggled with their own health and problems.  It allowed me a sense of feeling utterly and completely lost, while still feeling some purpose, if that makes sense.

And if you read Vonnegut's short story (which of course I highly recommend), you'll get a sense of what extreme lengths a father will go to for his children.  I don't always have the words or strength to write about things openly so I'm left with allusions to others who are better writers.

As it's an open domain story, you can read it here at the Gutenberg Project 2BR02B.
Or, you can also listen to it as an audiobook for free on YouTube below.

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