December 5, 2014

nature of God

     The sun rises slowly as my car moves just as slowly through traffic.  The music coming from my phone is interrupted by a telephone ring.  Even though it's interview season, I don't answer it because of the stop and go traffic.  Eventually, I find the location of my next rotation.  Hospice.  It's my first day and mixed feelings swirl together as I turn off the car.  I grab my phone and listen to the voice mail from the earlier call.  It's a tool company offering a demo of some new tool.  But it's not for me.  It's for my brother.  The first day of my hospice rotation and I get a voice mail for my dead brother.

     Why does this passage from A Grief Observed by CS Lewis immediately come to mind?
     “Not that I am (I think) in much danger of ceasing to believe in God. The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him. The conclusion I dread is not 'So there's no God after all,' but 'So this is what God's really like. Deceive yourself no longer.” 


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